Pressure

Ah, winter break. These past two weeks have been a nice break from The Pendulum, course work and dining hall food, but they have certainly come with their own set of committments. I had an ambitious list of goals to accomplish over this vacation, and the constant battle between my motivations to work and  to relax has been exhausting.

While balancing readings, homework, stories and internship research I haven’t had time during the school year to read actual fiction for pleasure or get a haircut. By finally finding time to accomplish all of the personal and professional goals I outlined for this break, they became more like chores and therefore, completely undesirable.

It has been so challenging to get myself to accomplish all of the once-exciting tasks I decided were ideal for this vacation. I wanted to apply for internships at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, Asia Society, Guggenheim, Seventeen Magazine and Time Inc. I was hoping to email professionals I admire at news organizations, museums and PR agencies to ask for advice. I wanted to study the science of Twitter to master strategic tweeting. Heck–I just wanted to read a novel without worrying about homework. I looked forward to these projects, to the point where they became work.

In the end, it’s been hard to get stuff done. I’ve spent a lot of time watching movies that have spent too long in my instant queue, baking cookies and folding laundry. I feel tremendous guilt for not accomplishing everything I set out to, but I guess that’s what happens when I turn interesting, genuinely exciting goals into commitments to be dreaded.

I guess I’m posting this publicly because now that it’s out there, I have to get them done. If more people know about my failure, I’ll be motivated to get stuff done. Maybe? Please.

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